The flower that blooms from the soil of despair

Sometimes we have to wait for a very long time to face our monsters. A hurt can set a wheel of becoming into motion and then disappear from view, because perhaps all that was needed was one shocking dose of deep pain to carve the heart bare, empty, vulnerable. A rigid heart which is sure of itself cannot receive, grow, or learn- pain is always needed. The false strengths we were made to believe when we built up our egos needed to be exposed and we now need to start the search for the true strength.

The heart contracts into a tiny little wounded muscle, then develops its own defence mechanisms, usually builds a shell around for protection. Time goes by and new hurts grow out of the initial hurt. This time the hurts consist of the rigid boundaries we ourselves have made in defence of the monsters that are not even there anymore. It is our own reaction that begins to hurt us.

So we go through another contraction, we may find a new enemy- ourselves. But time pushes the wheel on and on, there is no pause in the procedure going on within our own operating room.

We were walking in darkness ever since the loss of the first battle, but because pain will not give up on us and forces us to come to a conclusion, to a dissolution of itself, we now  begin to see a light, a small glimmer at first, then similar to a torch, at last blazing clear and bright. The light of truth. And the rocky road is smoothed out, slowly but surely.

It is ourselves that choose our experiences in this world. We tend to think that if anything bad happens to a child, it is never a child's fault. This is true but when we think this way then we leave a presumption within that it must have been somebody else's fault. This attitude is like trying to learn the book of the language of ourselves in the dark. We do not consider that on a much deeper level it might have been a choice of the spirit of the human being. When the light has been turned on then we see the truth- spirit is born pure, wise, and already from the first moments always CHOOSING his or her experiences. It may be difficult to believe, but it can be known.

Never give up. You may be tested and put face to face with the monsters and you may fail to see them as the angels that they are. But a time will come, when you will be ready. A time will come when the monsters will stand in front of you, and you will feel only love and forgiveness, you will feel your trampled on spirit rising up and facing those who have hurt you the most, with nothing but love within your heart and with a throat full of "Thank you." And they may be just the same as they were, still lost, still desperately fumbling around in the dark, without even realising that their darkness has served as a light on somebody else's path. They may know nothing of the magnitude of the process that they started and which helped you find the first truth of Life- we must and are able to love everyone and everything in this Universe and this is all that matters, our greatest power, from which all else will unfold. They may not even remember you. But when that moment comes and your spirit rises to meet theirs, they will suddenly turn around and walk away from you, forgetting why it was they were trying to approach you again. Their job is complete. And you...

You will follow their disappearing figure with your grateful eyes and truly know that there is no wrong, or bad in this world, there is no evil. The dam of "the unforgivable" is swept down by the real force of your openly given forgiveness-  this is your true strength. And the black soil of Pain has grown a pure white petaled flower of Love.