The mystery of the night can only be entered with a soul drunken with the ecstasy of the day. When the light no longer casts a shadow on weary limbs and cynical hearts, will darkness reveal its most secret blossoms. This is the time for mysticism. The ever-lonely march of separate bodies is but a coded transcription of the sound of the All making love to the All. The last cigarette falls to the ground unsmoked. Passion stirs but not in the flesh. The flesh is wiped clean of foot-prints and becomes transparent in darkness, in the crashing waves of the ocean. There's only a whisper left on the lips. There's moon-light, turning silver the golden streaks of hair. And two arms- stretched out, joining in the dance with the great beyond..
Life is my Guru. I surrender to it with love and with trust and follow it with joyful participation wherever it might lead me. Through fire and storms, in sickness and in health. In darkness and in light. Death too won't part us. Life gently nudges the small me thus, to see who I am, to see that it is the real me in fact who is the guru for life.
Pain and Awareness are my secondary teachers. I surrender to pain too whenever it finds a blindness in me ready to be pointed out. Diving into it I will obediently look where I'm told to look, straight in the face of every fear and every blockage. Suffering never tries to lead me on, compliment me or keep me at a stand-still, relentlessly and loyally it pushes up blind-spots and illusions to the blistering day-light, transforming all with the help of understanding. Awareness itself seems not enough with deeper scars and mutilations of the mind. Pain is the added energy to cut through the blocks that have grown there for years.
Love is my Reason. Life IS love. There isn't an ounce of energy in action not propelled by love. Why do the birds sing, why does the Universe multiply and (and we here too ;)), why do we keep at it though no reason is apparent and through all the suffering if not for love of ourselves, love of existence, love of our inner essence. Yes, life is love and we are but dancers to its sweet tune.
And at the end of the day, when the songs have been sung, and the daily lessons taken, I go home to Silence. The chords are varied and innumerable yet their return is always inevitable. The knowledge of the sweet bosom of the Void is glimpsed at every pause and actualized at every homecoming. In moments of solitude, of silent being, of total rest, I am complete.
I know that there is fear and desire and feel those at times, for we are human beings and gravity does have its rules. I will play because there is all the time in the world, so enough to play too, to risk it, to feel blood and excitement and adrenalin coursing through the body. There is nothing wrong with playing, it is the natural state. The trick is to always remain in the present moment so that you do not desire your games nor fear their ending. I will not be shackled by fear unless it is pointing to a lesson that I have already learned. For in reality- what is there to be afraid of?
And saying even this little, I know that too much has been said. Too many concepts still. No need for concepts, opinions, religions, vows. Truth is silent. No peace is greater than the peace of "I don't know".
Sometimes the joy of life in my breast is such that I fear an explosion is imminent. How am I not exploding? How can such a rushing all-inclusive torrent remain within the framework of this small body? (Does it remain there?) I can dance and jump up and scream out and jump higher and shout and reach out my arms to embrace and hug tight the whole of existence, grabbing at air, which makes me burst out laughing... all the while keeping on dancing, with nobody and with Life itself, yet still feel like there is no outlet possible when this joy threatens to obliterate me. It's almost a torture, to feel this way. To swallow the whole Universe with every in-breath and transform it into joy (is this alchemy?) To love that much. To smile that wide. But most of all- to feel such great gratitude in my soul that I don't know whether to laugh or cry, whether there is anything at all that I can do to repay for this joy other than these periodic implosions where I disappear, when I feel Life IS ME and perhaps... perhaps for one moment is aware of itself. It seems that even one brief moment of this sweet torture makes our lives, however long and however arduous, worthwhile. No amount of suffering on one side of the scale can ever out-weigh the pure joy of being alive on the other. This is the end of scales and of keeping score. We are unburdened from expecting anything further from life, for nothing extra is necessary, no career, no success in personal relationships, no achievements will ever come close to this Union with our inner spark of existence. Thus at last we are free to enjoy what matters, and most of all- to share it with anybody and everybody around us for this joy belongs to the whole of existence. Most of the times there is nobody around to share it with for the door is often in quiet solitude. Other times we are among people who do not understand, who have blocked themselves off from feeling. No matter! Share it with them anyway. Share it after with the people who do understand. This joy cannot be compressed.
I guess we can repay by feeling this joy and gratitude every day, even if Life shows its seemingly harsher side, even if the skies are cloudy and perhaps our veins are flushed with pain, we remember to appreciate. We remember to smile at strangers, we remember to love. Our every action should be coming from a deep place of- thank you, thank you! I am alive!
And of course we can dance! :) (This song is utterly unrelated to this theme when it comes to lyrics but the totally addictive rhythm of it is definitely what I am talking about... Yeah! :) )
"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal - that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest of being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality... The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indestructible as the tints of morning and evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched."
