Glimpses from the road- Cambodia

I wake up for the third time and slowly rub my eyes. I’m covered with sweat, the bed smells of dust, it is still dark outside but the first rays of sun are half-waking on the slits of the blinds. I sit up, tear open the mosquito net and try to breathe.

The first two times I woke up I had no idea where I was, what time it was, it took me a while to realize that of course the pitch black I was occupying was Rabbit Island, a small island off the south coast of Cambodia, where there is no electricity in the night-time (hence no fan and the greater than normal for the tropics night-sweats and the confusion) or indeed through most of the day, save for a few hours in the evening. The dumb-founding separation from civilization, the utter being in nature, the peace and silence of this island was in fact the reason I made a small refuge to this place.

Nothing but the rhythmic beating of the waves of the ocean against the small tree-laden beach. A handful of huts and a police station. And crickets of course.

There isn’t a lot I am taking refuge from in fact, in Cambodia I always feel close to nature and in sync with the natural rhythm of life. The people are simple, joyful, friendly and all my experiences here have been filled with laughter, energy and peace. 

Yet there is still a lot here that I am taking refuge in. In the ocean itself, the mirror of my consciousness. In the relentless sun which embraces in oneness the ecstasy of my spirit in these days of freedom, as well as roasting my body. In the jubilant chase and play of dogs in the shallow waters. In the mystery of the candle light in my small room, basic to the core, with only a bucket of cold water for a shower (who would want hot water in this climate anyway?). Most of all I take refuge in myself, for nowhere have I found such quietude and peace, nowhere has the link to my larger body been felt easier.

How beautiful is this place!

And how little we truly need for happiness! Peace, deep and fulfilling, is there for us, to be found in a split second- looking at a sunset, watching birds fly, exchanging a smile or any other moment of being here, being now. Its as if we become the beauty that we see, there are no little thoughts in us that separate us from the outside. There is no outside. In the era of communication our goal is to restore communication. Technology cannot achieve this for us, only we can re-establish the relationship to others, to nature, but most importantly- to ourselves. Seeing beauty stops our frantic minds. Seeing beauty creates a space within, an empty space where breath has left us for a moment, thoughts have silenced. This is the true gift of beauty I feel and why it is so important. Suddenly, in that moment all worries have vanished into the thin air, dissolved into the nothingness from which they were created. This void, created by the beauty of the outside world will then be filled by the beauty of our inner universe, with peace, bliss and love. We only recognize beauty because we possess it ourselves. Because we know how to love we recognize when nature is creating all its marvels out of love, out of joy, out of a free, playful mood.

My hair is a thick bulk of the salt and wetness of the sea in the day and my heart is a quivering of the playful fireflies around me at night. I swim perhaps seven times in one day but it can hardly be called swimming. Every bodily movement has become a spirited prayer, a meditation, but most of all a surrender. I have no direction other than the waves, this way or other, I am the waves and they are me.

There is nothing much to do here, on Rabbit Island, besides swimming and Being.