The sweet torture of joy

From India

Sometimes the joy of life in my breast is such that I fear an explosion is imminent.
How am I not exploding?
How can such a rushing all-inclusive torrent remain within the framework of this small body?
(Does it remain there?)
I can dance and jump up and scream out and jump higher and shout and reach out my arms to embrace and hug tight the whole of existence, grabbing at air, which makes me burst out laughing... all the while keeping on dancing, with nobody and with Life itself, yet still feel like there is no outlet possible when this joy threatens to obliterate me.
It's almost a torture, to feel this way.
To swallow the whole Universe with every in-breath
and transform it into joy (is this alchemy?)
To love that much.
To smile that wide.
But most of all- to feel such great gratitude in my soul that I don't know whether to laugh or cry, whether there is anything at all that I can do to repay for this joy other than these periodic implosions where I disappear, when I feel Life IS ME and perhaps... perhaps for one moment is aware of itself.

It seems that even one brief moment of this sweet torture makes our lives, however long and however arduous, worthwhile. No amount of suffering on one side of the scale can ever out-weigh the pure joy of being alive on the other. This is the end of scales and of keeping score. We are unburdened from expecting anything further from life, for nothing extra is necessary, no career, no success in personal relationships, no achievements will ever come close to this Union with our inner spark of existence. Thus at last we are free to enjoy what matters, and most of all- to share it with anybody and everybody around us for this joy belongs to the whole of existence. Most of the times there is nobody around to share it with for the door is often in quiet solitude. Other times we are among people who do not understand, who have blocked themselves off from feeling. No matter! Share it with them anyway. Share it after with the people who do understand. This joy cannot be compressed. 

I guess we can repay by feeling this joy and gratitude every day, even if Life shows its seemingly harsher side, even if the skies are cloudy and perhaps our veins are flushed with pain, we remember to appreciate. We remember to smile at strangers, we remember to love. Our every action should be coming from a deep place of- thank you, thank you! I am alive!


And of course we can dance! :)
(This song is utterly unrelated to this theme when it comes to lyrics but the totally addictive rhythm of it is definitely what I am talking about... Yeah! :) )