It is a difficult environment for sure. If it is the prevalent energy of one's work-place, as it unfortunately is for me at the moment, to a truly unbelievable degree in fact, then one always finds oneself on the outside, by choice of course. And even if one is used to be on the outside, and has no problem with that, there is still a huge energy expenditure involved with constantly struggling to keep ones own peace and love.
I've had a dilemma for a while- is it better to remove oneself from a poisonous environment, or to see it as a perfect place to over-come ones own judgements? After all- is this not a perfect challenge, a perfect ground for learning to be always compassionate, always equanimous towards all people, no matter how we disagree with their speech and actions? If there's anything that is keeping me in my job its this thought, and this alone.
I have decided it is my own lack that causes me stress. My own lack of compassion. Not for the underdogs, oh no- if there will come a moment in life when I will have no underdogs to defend then life will probably cease holding any interest for me haha. But the lack of compassion for the bullies, the lost souls who are somehow so down that the only way they can feel "up" at all is by putting everyone else around them down. It is my lack to judge them. It is my lack not to focus on their pain but concentrate on the pain they inflict on others.
And me, with my reactions against these bullies, do I not strengthen their pain?
But as for the right action in such an instance, a seemingly never-ending continuous instance it seems to me already, I am still unsure. My reaction so far- close down in a total non-participation, or defend, or say I don't like talking badly of others. Mostly I feel out of sorts.
But then again- isn't it in the harshest of conditions when the enduring lessons are won?
It is surely risky and I'm still in a dilemma over staying/not-staying. I guess when one still feels the situation can be learned from then the poisons haven't polluted one yet. :)
