Warrior of Light- Paolo Coelho

Painting from summer 2012, I think I shall name it "Alchemy", and will elaborate on it in some later blog perhaps... It simply seemed to fit the theme

Excerpts from "Manual of the Warrior of Light" by Paolo Coelho


A warrior of light knows that he has much to be grateful for.
He was helped in his struggle by the angels; celestial forces placed each thing
in its place, thus allowing him to give of his best.
His companions say: 'He's so lucky!' And the warrior does sometimes achieve
things far beyond his capabilities.
That is why, at sunset, he kneels and gives thanks for the Protective Cloak
surrounding him.
His gratitude, however, is not limited to the spiritual world; he never forgets
his friends, for their blood mingled with his on the battlefield.
A warrior does not need to be reminded of the help given him by others; he is
the first to remember and makes sure to share with them any rewards he receives.


A warrior of light knows that certain moments repeat themselves.
He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing
these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of
making any progress in life.
'I've been through all this before,' he says to his heart.
'Yes, you have been through all this before,' replies his heart. 'But you have
never been beyond it.'
Then the warrior realises that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to
teach him what he does not want to learn.


A warrior of light is never predictable.
He might dance down the street on his way to work, gaze into the eyes of a
complete stranger and speak of love at first sight, or else defend an apparently absurd
idea. Warriors of light allow themselves days like these.
He is not afraid to weep over ancient sorrows or to feel joy at new discoveries.
When he feels that the moment has arrived, he drops everything and goes off on some
long-dreamed-of adventure. When he realises that he can do no more, he abandons the
fight, but never blames himself for having committed a few unexpected acts of folly.
A warrior does not spend his days trying to play the role that others have
chosen for him.


Warriors of light always keep a certain gleam in their eyes.
They are of this world, they are part of the lives of other people and they set
out on their journey with no saddlebags and no sandals. They are often cowardly.
They do not always make the right decisions.
They suffer over the most trivial things, they have mean thoughts and
sometimes believe they are incapable of growing. They frequently deem themselves
unworthy of any blessing or miracle.
They are not always quite sure what they are doing here. They spend many
sleepless nights, believing that their lives have no meaning.
That is why they are warriors of light. Because they make mistakes. Because
they ask themselves questions. Because they are looking for a reason - and are sure to
find it.


The moment that he begins to walk along it, the warrior of light recognises the
Path.
Each stone, each bend cries welcome to him. He identifies with the mountains
and the streams, he sees something of his own soul in the plants and the animals and
the birds of the field.
Then, accepting the help of God and of God's Signs, he allows his Personal
Legend to guide him towards the tasks that life has reserved for him.
On some nights, he has nowhere to sleep, on others, he suffers from insomnia.
'That's just how it is,' thinks the warrior. 'I was the one who chose to walk this path.'
In these words lies all his power: he chose the path along which he is walking
and so has no complaints.


Every warrior of light has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every warrior of light has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone.
Every warrior of light has trodden a path that was not his.
Every warrior of light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
Every warrior of light has, at least once, believed that he was not a warrior of
light.
Every warrior of light has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every warrior of light has said 'yes' when he wanted to say 'no'.
Every warrior of light has hurt someone he loved.
That is why he is a warrior of light, because he has been through all this and
yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.


A warrior of light is never indifferent to injustice.
He knows that all is one and that each individual action affects everyone on
the planet. That is why, when confronted by the suffering of others, he uses his sword
to restore order.
But even though he fights against oppression, at no point does he attempt to
judge the oppressor. Each person will answer for his actions before God and so, once
the warrior has completed his task, he makes no further comment.
A warrior of light is in the world in order to help his fellow man and not in
order to condemn his neighbour


A warrior of light is never in a hurry.
Time works in his favour; he learns to master his impatience and avoids acting
without thinking.
By walking slowly, he becomes aware of the firmness of his step. He knows
that he is taking part in a decisive moment in the history of humanity and that he
needs to change himself before he can transform the world. That is why he remembers
the words of Lanza del Vasto: 'A revolution takes time to settle in.'
A warrior never picks the fruit while it is still green.


The warrior of light knows the importance of intuition.
In the midst of battle, he does not have time to think about the enemy's blows,
and so he uses his instinct and obeys his angel.
In times of peace, he deciphers the signs that God sends him.
People say: 'He's mad.'
Or: 'He lives in a fantasy world.'
Or even: 'How can he possibly believe in such illogical things?'
But the warrior knows that intuition is God's alphabet and he continues
listening to the wind and talking to the stars.


For the warrior there is no such thing as an impossible love.
He is not intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. He knows that,
behind the mask of ice that people wear, there beats a heart of fire.
This is why the warrior takes more risks than other people. He is constantly
seeking the love of someone, even if that means often having to hear the word 'No',
returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body and soul.
A warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching for what he needs.
Without love, he is nothing.


The warrior of light is a believer.
Because he believes in miracles, miracles begin to happen. Because he is sure
that his thoughts can change his life, his life begins to change. Because he is certain
that he will find love, that love appears.
Now and then, he is disappointed. Sometimes, he gets hurt.
Then he hears people say: 'He's so ingenuous!'
But the warrior knows that it is worth it. For every defeat, he has two victories
in his favour.
All believers know this.


The warrior of light has learned that it is best to follow the light.
He has behaved treacherously, he has lied, he has strayed from the path, he has
courted darkness. And everything was fine, as if nothing had happened.
Then an abyss suddenly opens up; you can take a thousand steps in safety, but
just one step too many can put an end to everything. Then the warrior stops before he
destroys himself.
When he makes that decision, he hears four comments: 'You always do the
wrong thing. You're too old to change. You're no good. You don't deserve it.'
He looks up at the sky. And a voice says: 'My dear, everyone makes mistakes.
You're forgiven, but I cannot force that forgiveness on you. It's your choice.'
The true warrior of light accepts that forgiveness.


The warrior of light is always trying to improve.
Every blow of his sword carries with it centuries of wisdom and meditation.
Every blow needs to have the strength and skill of all the warriors of the past who,
even today, continue to bless the struggle. Each movement during combat honours the
movements that the previous generations tried to transmit through the Tradition.
The warrior develops the beauty of his blows.


A warrior of light is reliable.
He makes a few mistakes, he sometimes thinks he is more important than he
really is, but he does not lie.
When people gather round the fire, he talks to his friends, male and female. He
knows that his words are stored in the memory of the Universe, like a testimony of
what he thinks.
And the warrior asks himself: 'Why do I talk so much, when often I am
incapable of carrying out everything I say?'
His heart replies: 'When you defend your ideas in public, you then have to
make an effort to live accordingly.'
It is because he believes that he is what he says he is that the warrior ends up
becoming precisely that.


The warrior of light is terrified when it comes to making important decisions.
'This is too much for you,' says a friend. 'Go on, be brave,' says another. And
so his doubts grow.
After some days of anxiety, he withdraws to the corner of his tent where he
usually sits to meditate and pray. He sees himself in the future. He sees the people
who will benefit or be harmed by his attitude. He does not want to cause pointless
suffering, but nor does he want to abandon the path.
The warrior allows the decision to reveal itself.
If he has to say 'yes', he will say it bravely. If he has to say 'no', he will say it
without a trace of cowardice.


The warrior of light is now waking from his dream.
He thinks: 'I do not know how to deal with this light that is making me grow.'
The light, however, does not disappear.
The warrior thinks: 'Changes must be made that I do not feel like making.'
The light remains, because 'feel' is a word full of traps.
Then the eyes and heart of the warrior begin to grow accustomed to the light.
It no longer frightens him and he finally accepts his own Legend, even if this means
running risks.
The warrior has been asleep for a long time. It is only natural that he should
wake up very gradually.


The warrior of light has learned that God uses solitude to teach us how to live
with other people.
He uses rage to show us the infinite value of peace. He uses boredom to
underline the importance of adventure and spontaneity.
God uses silence to teach us to use words responsibly. He uses tiredness so
that we can understand the value of waking up. He uses illness to underline the
blessing of good health.
God uses fire to teach us about water. He uses earth so that we can understand
the value of air. He uses death to show us the importance of life.

Thoughts on "Left in the Dark"

Continuing from my last post I felt like putting down some thoughts that have arisen since, I have rarely allowed myself to ramble on my blog, but there is a great passion awake, and it tends to rear its head on this theme in particular.

Even though only half-way through this great book I recognize its importance on many levels, and have to give it praise for something that I have seen missing in science- connecting the dots and having an overview of the whole picture. 

Years ago, as a student of genetics I was taught a view that this paragraph correctly illustrates: 

"DNA is usually thought to be the only conveyance for the passage of information to the next generation and hence to variation,  adaptation and evolution. The mechanism that reads the DNA is assumed to be stable. This is not usually included in the picture as far as inherited change and variation is concerned. The standard evolutionary model is based on the changes that come from glitches in the DNA code. These changes are taken to be accidental (mutation) and usually deleterious, but when they are of benefit, the benefits incurred will create a fitter animal with  enhanced survivability (selection). " 


Wright does a great deal with simply demonstrating that nothing in our body is isolated (nothing indeed at all is isolated but we are so deeply stuck with our paradigm of separation and looking at single separate mechanisms, that now all the different fractions of science are having a measurably hard time to re-unite and move forward which can be done only through recognizing inter-dependence with other fields, this seems such a long way off still). He shows how in fact what we eat can effect our endocrine system, which influences how the DNA is read, which in turn can be an evolutionary mechanism also. This is truly revolutionary.

"The standard model is totally DNA based: inherited traits are passed on via DNA codes but, if a different reading system can be inherited and passed on, there is, in effect, a transmission of a different DNA expression. The DNA and the reading system do not work in isolation. They go together. The reading system is built in the uterus. A change in this reading system will result in different structures, including the structures that read the DNA. If these are stable, the way the DNA is read will be changed permanently. This is a new and radical theory that has huge implications. It is a mechanism for inheritance that does not depend on changes in DNA. It is an inherited reading change.
This theory is not incompatible with the standard DNA model for inheritance. It is merely a variation that, we propose, had a marked affect on the evolution of the ape/hominid lineage. The key point is that the variation is coming from the neural-endocrine system and it is this variation which is inherited. However this does not preclude DNA variation working with, alongside, in response to, or independently of this mechanism."

"Steroid hormones in particular are an integral part of the mechanism that reads the DNA, the blueprint that ultimately dictates the structure  and chemistry of what is built and ultimately
how it works."

There are also brave and visionary people who have been doing studies on how emotions are affecting the coding of our DNA, postulating that the heart has even a bigger electro-magnetic field than the brain and feelings of love can actually change us right down to the cellular level. In short we are truly living in the time when the forgotten wisdoms are coming back to science.

This was always my main issue with some scientific fields, namely the ones looking after the well-being of humanity- they do not look at the whole picture, so how can we trust them to tell us a valid truth about how to look after ourselves? Apart from that- they are also corrupt so the notion of caring is even impossible.
Nutritionists live in a seeming la-la-land which takes into account no scientific evidence at all apparently and as shown in this book- no evolutionary evidence in particular. It is dominated rather by economics.
Doctors live in another la-la-land where they think that what we eat is only remotely connected to our well-being, it boggles the mind that nutritional studies are not really included in studying to be a doctor. But then if it was then would it really benefit as it is another impoverished separatist non-wisdom? And also there is no profit in knowing about food being the only true medicine, it would make the whole enterprise fall.
Psychology is a discipline of blind leading the blind. As Wright points out- a poorly functioning left-brain dominance, riddled with fear, separation, deceit, illusion- is a systematic disease that is not isolated to a percentage of human populace but present in all, including the psychologists we go to for healing. And once again- the pharmaceutical companies are really in charge.

We know almost nothing about human consciousness though it is long shown through physics in particular that consciousness plays a vital part in physical phenomena. 

We know almost nothing. We pin our puny microscopes on particular moments of life happening and say- this is what happens. This is perfectly fine as an evolutionary process of science, but it is certainly not fine if the paradigms and common dogmas from this way of looking at things- dictate what we put into our bodies, how to heal and in general meddle with our bodies- which of course are vehicles and seats of our souls.  

Evidence stares us in our face- we are getting more unhealthy by the decade. 

"Left in the Dark" seems like a pessimistic theory- stating that human beings as a species have been degenerating, and operate from a dominance of a deeply impoverished and hurt left-hemisphere. But it is also completely hopeful. Unless we recognize the problem, there won't be a solution. If we understand the cause and mechanism of the problem-the solutions are many. It is the denial that holds most humans back at this particular point.

As I always try to emphasize- we live in such a crazy, corrupt world where taking charge of our own well-being is really the only option. Questioning the system and self-education, looking at alternatives is really the only option. If we care about our well-being that is. If we are not dulled down in blind faith and trust and mollified by our inherent self-destructiveness. If we care to not only survive, but if we dream to actualize and reach our best possible state. 

Hence I have to always mentally applaud all those who give glimpses of a new possible paradigm and a healing of science. Such a long way off, but all the journeys start from small steps.

An investigation into the evolution of the human brain- Tony Wright

"A new theory of human evolution, proposed by Tony Wright and Graham Gynn in ‘Left in the Dark’, convincingly argues that the human brain owes part of its extraordinary development to the biochemistry of a specialist fruit diet. The hormone-related chemicals in tropical fruit initiated an internal hormone mechanism that increasingly promoted brain growth and elevated neural activity. When humans were forced from their tropical forest ‘Garden of Eden’ some two hundred thousand years ago, this link with biochemically rich fruit was lost.

The internal hormone mechanism that fuelled brain expansion stalled, and the process went into reverse. This caused a breakdown in part of the brain; some functions were lost and our sense of self changed for the worse – a golden age descended in stages to our present materialist, fear-based age of plastic and Prozac. These neurological effects are now being revealed and verified by today’s cutting edge science.

Virtually all cultures preserve myths with an almost identical theme; that from a past golden age humanity has suffered a progressive degeneration. Is this near universal tradition based on real events? The answer appears to be ‘yes’. Recent scientific evidence supports the idea that we suffer from an inherited hormonal condition that has damaged part of our brain. In an unexpected twist, it is the damaged part that is not only driven to play the major role in telling us who we are but also dominates our basic biological functions.
Such a scenario explains some extraordinary anomalies that have emerged from research into how our brains function. It provides an underlying reason for the present crises in health, from the dysfunction of the immune system to the declining age of puberty. It also makes sense of the diverse mystic and religious practices that are said to lead to enlightened states or ‘oneness with God’.

If our common experience of near constant low-level fear and anxiety is actually a consequence of a neurological disorder, there may be a fundamental solution to the problem. We all know that fear, distrust and a lack of connection lead to conflict and ultimately war. Such a solution therefore could be of crucial importance to our global future."

Read more www.leftinthedark.org.uk

Read the book "Left in the Dark" here


I accidentally stumbled on an interview with Tony Wright and was instantly fascinated. Kudos to Wright for explaining thoroughly and extremely well his theories, this with almost inhuman patience with the interviewer, watch and you will see what I mean. The interviewer and the interviewed wonderfully demonstrating the difference between the left brain and right brain action respectively, to my mind at least. I was convinced, and I cannot wait to read the book.

Keeping Quiet                      

                         ~                        

                          Pablo Neruda

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.


This one time upon the earth,
let's not speak any language,
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.


It would be a delicious moment,
without hurry, without locomotives,
all of us would be together
in a sudden uneasiness.


The fishermen in the cold sea
would do no harm to the whales
and the peasant gathering salt
would look at his torn hands.


Those who prepare green wars,
wars of gas, wars of fire,
victories without survivors,
would put on clean clothing
and would walk alongside their brothers
in the shade, without doing a thing.


What I want shouldn't be confused
with final inactivity:
life alone is what matters,
I want nothing to do with death.


If we weren't unanimous
about keeping our lives so much in motion,


if we could do nothing for once,
perhaps a great silence would
interrupt this sadness,
this never understanding ourselves
and threatening ourselves with death,
perhaps the earth is teaching us
when everything seems to be dead
and then everything is alive.


Now I will count to twelve
and you keep quiet and I'll go.

-from Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon
Translated by Stephen Mitchell


Read this poem in Spanish

Causal reactions and all-encompassing Buddha nature

This one is going to be a controversial blog to others as much as it will be to myself.

I was re-listening to a wonderful Alan Watts lecture tonight "Zen Bones" which ends with a Zen poem.

He who would understand the meaning of Buddha nature

must watch for the seasons 

and for causal relations. 

Every voice is the voice of Buddha, 

every form is the Buddha form.

I felt it, I knew it. So I wanted to test it.

I chose the most awful experience I could get my hands on. To make it my meditation tonight.

This is a video which has made me suffer above all sights, animals are my true weakness, my love for them goes past even the love for humans. So this is truly intolerable cruelty for me. It has made me cry, shout and scream in anger, awful extreme rage. 

It was different- to watch it. Absolutely different. What I ended up with was this realization.

My reaction is also a season, a causal reaction, also a Buddha form, just as the cruelty on display, just as the suffering on display. Whatever the reaction is.

The sadistic tendencies of those who suffer and cause suffering
vs my warrior spirit which has suffered and gone into a violent outburst against the sadists
vs a non-dual state of being which can watch cruelty at peace with an understanding it is all light Are they different in nature?

It is a controversial state for myself, that I find myself in. Me- who at one time had deep crises when I discovered the nature of the world and cruelty. Who had panic attacks at work when I had to sell foie gras as a special, and I couldn't do it- I said to my boss to fire me- but I wouldn't do it! Many panic attacks, many identity crises, not from being me, but from being a human being cause of all the animal cruelty I found out bit by bit... I didn't want to be part of a species who was capable of the worst. 

Yet slowly it balanced from seeing the whole struggle of us humans. Acceptance emerged of being in-between darkness and light. And then slowly the understanding came that light cannot exist without darkness. That there are really neither alone. Both of divine essence.

And now- I am here. Is it less unjust, less horrendous? No. And yes. The peace that I have in me now- I am still at a loss- what is this peace- I am with the poem, the essence of it, I know that the peace comes from that same source. But this meditation was unsettling- the peace itself disturbing- its a strange dichotomy. My mind tells me that, it tells me I shouldn't be at peace, remembering the past feelings. Of course my ego is part of this also- what- take away the main identity of who "I" am...? The main thing "I" am against? Whats the point when there is nothing to be against...?

I am guessing I am at a stepping stone from one state to another, polar opposite states. Unsettling to be at peace with something that was the deepest unsettlement! 

It is a meditation I chose which will still be difficult for some time.

But its good to grab the Bull by the Horns I feel.

Homeless and at home

I live in a big apartment block, but it is the roof of it that is my real home. I go to the roof to connect to the sky, when I have crossed the safety bar and am dangling my feet above the whole distance, but at the same time under the vista of the whole city and the sky- I am truly at home. On the border of it all I feel safe. This has always been my place.

So tonight I was making my way up there again. To my surprise the door to the roof was blocked by two homeless huddling in their sleeping bags. For a second I was unsure. Then I saw one of them open their eyes and look at me. At once my uncertainty disappeared, I smiled to him, stepped over both of them and pushed open the door.

Of course after taking my comfort seat between all things, with the lyrics blasting into my ears from my earphones "This city is for strangers as the sky is for the stars", I felt a tap on my shoulder, across the bar, and I shuddered, I had never been disturbed here. It was the homeless. He had awoken cause I think he was worried about me. Later he called me- "a crazy girl on the roof", I think he thought I had gone up there to the ledge with an intention. 

So I explained. He wasn't too sure. Till the end he kept asking me, "Are you in trouble, did you have a fight with your boyfriend?" etc etc. My answer that I was there cause I wanted to feel the joy just didn't compute till the end. He was a simple and straight-forward guy from Mongolia gone on tough times and I know I must have looked mad for him. He asked me why I wasn't scared when I saw two men sleeping in the hallway, wasn't I afraid they were dangerous. I answered, "I know that you are here to find comfort and warmth and a refuge, and I am here too to enjoy my refuge, so we are equal. I believe that people are good." 

He stayed beside me talking with me, telling me about the reasons he was homeless. I was at home, complete, and he was like an old friend, we talked about everything. No masks from the beginning, a soul meeting a soul- me at my most private place and him at his, as he would tell none of his friends of his troubles, his culture forbade that.
I gave him my last cigarette, and then brought him some soup and some wine. We kept talking. 

It was a wonderful night. The place where I go to be alone to enjoy the sky, was the sky as I knew it, even at a time I shared it with a homeless even if I haven't really shared it before, it was a hundred per cent natural, we were both sky people and I reveled in the truth of this. I have brought a few of my friends there yet it has been a social gathering and the sky has got side-tracked. Of course we all belong there. Insecurity and impermanence is the home of everyone, its just the openness to that that is rare to find. 

I finally convinced him to cross the bars and sit with me on the ledge. He held on to the bars and breathed hard, it was the same for me-my first time. I asked him how he felt. Didn't he feel free. But then I felt embarrassed- he was free. Totally and utterly free, without a home or a job, and perhaps I am mad that I admired his bravery to sneak into a random apartment block, perhaps I am mad that I admired his absolute freedom. He was more brave by far to keep his smile in his situation, I was merely home. 

We had a long talk about Mongolia, Ghengis Khan, Estonia, religion, politics, friends, you name it. 

I will never forget the humanity of this night. It is rare. And its a pity that the freedom between souls comes from these extreme moments so easily and harder in everyday connections.

He didn't understand till the end why I was there, in the cold, between sky and earth, for him- in danger. The only glimpse for him was when I said I wanted to feel the sky- he said his only idol Ghengis Khan was also a shaman, and if I believed in that-really? No matter the alien situation for both of us though- it was a night to understand what it is to be a human being.

What a beautiful night under the sky.

Love me, love me

Say you do


Let me fly away

With you


We're creatures of the wind

Wild is the wind


Give me more than one grasp

Satisfy this hungryness

We're creatures of the wind

Wild is the wind


You touch me

I hear the sound of mandolines

You kiss me

With your kiss my life begins


Like a leaf clings to a tree

Baby please cling to me

We're creatures of the wind

Wild is the wind


You touch me

I hear the sound of mandolins

And you kiss me

With your kiss my life begins


Love me, love me

Say you do


Let me fly away

With you